Lesson 1 – Intention Setting

VIDEO NOTES

Today you are going to set an intention for this course you have just committed to.

Before you set an intention I’d like to tell you the importance of intention setting. An intention is something you intend from your heart space that will lead to the trajectory of your experience in this course. The outcome of your experience in this course will be determined by your intention. An intention is a path you aim to align to, an outcome you want to get to. It guides our thoughts, actions, and attitudes.

Oprah Winfrey has one principle in which she rules her company and which she rules every action in her life: INTENTION. Since I heard about this principle many years ago, I started setting intentions for my professional and personal life.

Our intention is everything. Jim Carrey says that nothing happens without intention. Your intention creates everything you experience in your life. Did you ever ask yourself the question if your intention was created doing this course? Think for a moment which events in your life are created by which intentions.

Your intention for this course will ultimately determine the outcome of this course. 

Some examples of my intentions:

Before I started writing my book.

• I intend to break free from indoctrinations

This intention made me write the book ‘The Student’. In this book, I write freely of what I feel and break free from some of the indoctrinations I had. One of the indoctrination was that I should tell what I feel to anyone.

Before I created this course.

• I intend to genuinely help others to become highly emotionally intelligent people that are strong and know how to create the life they want.
• Through my passions, I make a living. 

This intention made me create this course and serve those who become highly emotionally intelligent and are able to create the life they want to experience.

Before I created the Bridging Podcast

• I intend to engage with inspiring people who are changing the world through contributing to others, while I help others to level up.

This intention made me create the Bridging Podcast with inspiring guests, such as Seth Godin, Gulshanoy Tolipova, Arie Boomsma, and Zainab Salbi.

A general intention I have is

• I intend to be a genuine, kind, loving, compassionate, caring daughter, sister, friend, and partner. 

This intention makes me experience loving, genuine, and compassionate relationships with those around me.

Lesson 1 – YOU DO – Intention Setting

Do you want to get rid of toxic relationships and build loving, genuine, and compassionate ones?

You may want to write down

I intend to work on creating loving, genuine, and compassionate relationships.

Do you want to get more confident and trust your intuition?

You may want to write down

I intend to trust myself more. 

Set the intention, make the intention lead, trust the process. Btw there are no wrong intentions, there are only intentions. The only wrong thing is not setting an intention. Do dare to have an intention. Intentions usually define outcomes.

Lesson 1 – BONUS Intention Setting

1- Watch the short video (4.24 minutes) of Oprah Winfrey where she talks about the power of intention with Gary Zukav.

2- Watch the short video (4.24 minutes) of Jim Carrey on the power of intention.

Lesson 2 – The Wheel of Life

Lesson 2 – YOU DO – The Wheel of Life

Lesson 3 – Your Belief System

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”

– M K Gandhi

Lesson 3 – YOU DO part 1 – Your Belief System

Objective: At the end of this lesson you will get clarity about your unique belief system.

Needs: pen and notebook or digital notebook

1- Watch (2.28 minutes) Apollo Hester’s belief system that got 11.341.000 Youtube Views

2- You are going to look at your beliefs about all 8 segments.

• Yourself
• Your Family
• You Friendships
• Romance
• Your Finances
• Personal Growth
• Recreation
• Physical Environment
• Health

3- Write for each topic 3 beliefs down. Beliefs come in many forms and are usually a statement, such as ‘I am not good enough to start my own business, ‘People don’t trust me’, ‘I need money in order to have a successful life, or ‘I am not able to find the love of my life. It is very important that you don’t think but write down what comes first. The more honest you are about it. yourself, the more change can happen. For example, if I want to lose weight and I know I eat 2 portions with each meal and I write down as my belief ‘I eat just enough, this won’t help me to change in the future. 

Here is an example of the way I’d do it.

Topic 1 Myself

– I am a great daughter. (EMPOWERING)

– Because I am a woman I need to strive more than a man. (LIMITING)

– I am more liked by others than by myself. (LIMITING)

Topic 2 My Running Training

– I am very slow with long runs. (LIMITING)

– I am not athletic, because none of my family members are. (LIMITING)

– I compare myself to others when I run. (LIMITING)

Topic 3 Friendship

– I am a very kind friend. (EMPOWERING

– My friends love my personality. (EMPOWERING)

– I am afraid to say no to my friends. (LIMITING)

Lesson 3 – YOU DO part 2 – Your Belief System

Objective: At the end of this lesson you will get aware of your own unique self-empowering and self-limiting beliefs.

Needs: pen and notebook or digital notebook

After you have written your beliefs, write after each of them if it is an empowering belief or a limiting? Again, you need to decide this for only yourself. While a belief can be for someone empowering the same belief can be for someone else limiting. 

Limiting beliefs can

• make you feel like you can’t do something because something is wrong with you.
• make you feel that you don’t belong to a certain group
• you feel you are not capable to do something

Empowering beliefs are

• Positive
• Helpful
• Joyful

Lesson 3 – BONUS – Your Belief System

Lesson 4 – Acknowledging Self-Limiting and Self-Empowering Beliefs

 

Lesson 4 – YOU DO – Acknowledging Self-Limiting and Self-Empowering Beliefs

Objective: At the end of this lesson you will

1. practice acknowledging your self-empowering and self-limiting beliefs
2. reflect on your self-empowering and self-limiting beliefs
3. learn and practice to let go of your self-empowering and self-limiting beliefs
4. create self-empowering beliefs as much as you want

Needs: pen and notebook or digital notebook Congratulations on writing down your beliefs! Really, from experience, I know that this is not easy. But you did it! 1- Celebrate the empowering beliefs you have. These beliefs make you thrive, experience joy, and are empowering you in different dimensions of your life.  2- Now, acknowledge your limiting beliefs.   First of all, please acknowledge that those are ‘just’ limiting beliefs. No matter how strongly you may believe, it doesn’t make these beliefs true. Yes, they can be comforting. After all, you may have believed them for years and thus received some value from them. But by definition, they are limiting, and they restrict your ability to achieve what you want and improve your life. Limiting beliefs can keep us in our comfort zone. However, these self-limiting beliefs, which hinder our journey towards life goals, can be overcome and replaced with empowering beliefs. By changing your thinking, you can change everything too. Remember they are beliefs, not facts. 3- Reflect on your limiting beliefs. Is this belief really grounded? Did I always think that way? If not, what has changed? What would it be like to think of the opposite of my belief? Is this belief helping me to progress towards my goals? How would I think about this belief if I were someone else (e.g. My father, my sister, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Rumi, an entrepreneur, a doctor, etc)? How has it impacted your decisions? How has it affected your career choices and relationships? What were the consequences of that belief? And what are the “benefits” of the belief—ways the belief protected you or made you feel safe—which made you want to keep it around? Acknowledge the belief for how it has served you. You adopted this belief because it kept you safe in some capacity. How did it serve you? What did the belief make possible? How did it make you who you are today? 4-  CHOOSE to let go of the belief.  One of the most freeing things you can do for yourself is to acknowledge that your belief isn’t true. It feels true, sure. But it’s not who you are, by definition. Let it go. 5- Replace a limiting belief with an empowering belief.  After you have let go of your limiting beliefs. Write some empowering beliefs for yourself down. Add an empowering belief that says you can change your limiting beliefs. And after you’ve noted a limiting belief, change it. Empowering beliefs improves your life. Once you create your empowering beliefs, new opportunities and challenges may arise and build on your empowering beliefs.

Lesson 4 – BONUS – Acknowledging Self-Limiting and Self-Empowering Beliefs

1- A personal experience

Some of the most impactful limiting beliefs we hold are about ourselves. I, myself, believed for many years that I wasn’t going to ever speak and write in English. I had bad grades at high school and university and was convinced that English was something I’d never be able to speak. I just want to say that I am the person that is writing this now. Yes, in English! It took me many years to realize that I was actually able, but I never did the work. I refused homework, speaking English, and deleting subtitles in Dutch. Until I was living in Istanbul and put myself in a position where I had to speak English because I became a teacher at an English-speaking international school. I have learned that almost all of us are capable of things we don’t believe that we are. Why not design your life, before a crisis hits and you have to do the work. 2- Listen to the Bridging Podcast episode (46) with Colette Streicher about making anything possible by rewiring your brain. 3- Watch the Ted Talk on limiting beliefs by Dr. Urim Tahir. 4- Watch the Ted Talk on how changing your mindset can change your future by Mary Young.

Lesson 5 – The Practice of Gratitude

Lesson 5 – YOU DO – The Practice of Gratitude

Objective: At the end of this lesson you will have established the start of your gratitude journey by listing daily 5 things that you are grateful for. Needs: pen and notebook or digital notebook 1-Watchthe Ted Talk by David Steindl-Rast who says that it is gratitude that makes us happy. 2- Make a list of 5 things that you are grateful for at this moment. As an add-on to this, write also down why you are grateful. You can think about different dimensions in your life, such as work, finance, family, friends, health, physical environment, relationships, nature. My gratitude routine usually goes like this. When waking up I sit still for a moment, ‘feel’ what I am grateful for. Especially feeling is very important here, feel what you are grateful for with your heart and don’t think with your head. After I feel grateful for a certain thing I write a full sentence down, e.g. I am grateful that I have a great support network’ or ‘I am grateful that I am healthy and that I can exercise’. Btw there are no wrong things you can be grateful for and this for everyone is very unique. 3- Share also under the list on how it went. What did you experience while doing this gratitude practice? What have you learned and were there any challenges? As you will establish gratitude as a habit, it will take the time that it is in your system. And don’t forget that you can always find 3 things you are grateful for, e.g. if it rains and is really cold on a certain day you could be grateful for your house. If you don’t enjoy the workplace you are working at, you could still be grateful that they provide you with a salary that you can look after your family. Use your creativity!

 

Lesson 5 – BONUS – The Practice of Gratitude

1- Watch Robert Emmons (Professor of Psychology) talk about why practicing gratitude has a transformative effect on our social and emotional well-being.

Lesson 6 – Gratitude Letter

Lesson 6 – YOU DO – Gratitude Letter

Lesson 7 – Make a Decision

Lesson 7 – YOU DO – Make a Decision

Lesson 8 – Set your Goals

Lesson 8 – YOU DO – Set your Goals

Lesson 9 – Empowering Beliefs support Your Goals

Lesson 9 – YOU DO – Empowering Beliefs support Your Goals

Objective: At the end of this lesson you will have create empowering beliefs that support your goals.

Needs: pen and notebook or digital notebook The goals are set, isn’t it crazy! Awesome! Step by step we are going to work towards our goals. Today we will work with empowering beliefs. Empowering Beliefs are beliefs we have about ourselves which are helpful, positive, and accurate. Empowering Beliefs give us power because they affect our thoughts, feelings and actions. They help us to take positive action and feel good about ourselves. 1-Watch Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joe Dispenza. 2- Write next to each goal 2 or 3 empowering beliefs that will support that goal.  For example, if my goal is  In 2022 I will live in London with my partner. Empowering beliefs that support this goal can be -Things always work out for me. -Opportunity always finds me. -I am excited for what is ahead. You can write the same empowering beliefs for many different goals. Remember every belief is unique to the owner. While a certain belief might be for someone empowering, it might be for someone else limiting. You really have to ‘feel’ this for yourself.  Some examples of empowering beliefs: -Things always work out for me. -Opportunity always finds me. -The universe works in my favor. -The unexpected always occurs. -The unknown is part of my normal life. -I am proud of myself. -I am excited for what is ahead. -I am responsible for the life I create. -I embrace challenges because I will always find a way to overcome them. -The past was who I was, the present is who I am and the future is who I may become. 3- After we have written the empowering beliefs down you can choose out of three things. 1. Say them out loud, one by one. Important to note: You have to say them out loud until you feel them. If your empowering belief is ‘Things always work out for me’. Feel how it feels like things always work out for you. 2. Look in the mirror and say them out loud. 3. Close your eyes and whisper them to yourself. If this process might seem crazy for you or another limiting belief keeps popping (e.g. I can’t do this), acknowledge your feelings about it, and keep trying. You will keep repeating these empowering beliefs towards yourself until it really clicks in your mind. You will come to a point that you don’t need to say them to yourself, because you will start ‘believing’ in them and it will be in your system. You can also use those beliefs prior to something that you are insecure of. E.g. If you need to enter a very important meeting and you are nervous you can use empowering beliefs to make you comfortable. Please don’t forget we are not getting rid of our limiting beliefs, we will process them each time when they come up by acknowledging them as a limiting belief. The more you repeat this process, the more it will become very natural to you.

Lesson 9 – BONUS – Empowering Beliefs support Your Goals

Here are examples of great self-empowering beliefs.

1. I am surrounded by abundance.
2. The universe works in my favor.
3. The unexpected always occurs.
4. The beautiful unknown is part of my normal life.
5. Money comes easily to me.
6. I love myself just as I am.
7. I deserve the best life partner.
8. I enjoy my life to the fullest.
9. I am constantly abundant by opportunities,
10. People love working with me.
11. I create, trust my work, and ship.
12. I am an amazing husband.
13. I am an amazing daughter.
14. I am the best friend someone can ask for.
15. I am an entrepreneur.
16. I am an athlete.
17. I am an artist.
18. Things always work out for me.
19. My past does not equal my future
20. No matter what happens, I can handle it.
21. The future is exciting with endless possibilities.
22. I am worthy and deserving
23. I enjoy doing my best and I experience joy during the process.
24. Things always work out for me.
25. I have done my research, and I know what I am doing.
26. I do this for me.
27. I am my authentic self in all my relationships, and people love me for me.
28. I do not judge others, because I do not judge myself.
29. I hold myself and others accountable, with generosity and love.
30. I feel good about myself every single day.
31. The work doesn’t have to be perfect to be done well. I start right as I am, wherever I am.
32. I always make time for myself.
33. I live exactly the life I’ve imagined.

Lesson 10 – Visualisation

VIDEO NOTES

Today we are going to learn and practice a new (for some) technique; visualisation.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, visualization is “the act of visualizing something or someone” or “forming a picture of it in your mind”. It’s almost like looking through a particular lens, your unconsciousness, your imagination, your deepest desires, and seeing your life unfold within your inner eye.

Visualization has been used for a very long time in sports. Muhammad Ali’s famous quote “If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it – then I can achieve it” already shows that he truly believed in the power of visualization. But he’s not the only one who used visualization in his successful sports career. A study published in Neuropsychologia found that imagining moving certain parts of your body almost trains the muscles as much as the actual movement. Our mind is literally very powerful!

The trick behind it is that our brain cannot differentiate between what is already true and what is fiction.

Conditioning yourself to your new beliefs means creating the reality you want for yourself in your mind, visualizing the results you want to achieve. Visualization is a great way to create anticipation. You will mentally experience the result you want to achieve. With this, you will be sending congruent signals to your brain, making it work for you.

By doing this work, you’re not only creating the space to show up as your fullest self, but you’re also leveraging your experiences to hold space for others to become themselves too, to use their voices, and to align their actions with what matters.

“Anything you can imagine, you can create.”

-Oprah Winfrey

Lesson 10 – YOU DO – Visualisation

Lesson 11 – Your Journey towards Success

Lesson 11 – YOU DO – Your Journey towards Succes

Lesson 12 – Trust and Appreciation

Lesson 12 – YOU DO – Trust and Appreciation

Objective: At the end of this lesson you practice trust and appreciation.

Needs: – Goals are set, steps towards the goals are created and empowering beliefs are out there. Now it’s time to trust and appreciate. 1- Watch part (starting at 7.08) of my conversation with Seth Godin where he talks about trusting yourself.  2- Trust!  It’s time to trust. -Trust yourself -Trust that you have set the right goals for you -Trust the timing of everything Trust your own journey. It might look sometimes different than others, maybe more uncomfortable, more unpredictable, yet everyone’s journey is unique, so is yours. PS: We cannot make you trust. Yet, you have every single moment to ‘decide’ to trust yourself. 3- Appreciate 1. First of all, take a moment and appreciate all of yourself. Embrace the person you are with all your imperfections. Appreciate the friend,  the mother, the father, the employee, the daughter you are. Appreciate your efforts, your kindness, your care, your love, even your insecurities. 2. Secondly, take someone in mind. Your boss, your partner, your friend, your neighbor. Appreciate others for who they are. Appreciation will make you a person with an open mind (beyond your judgments). PS: Appreciation shouldn’t be mistaken for agreeing with what someone is doing or thinking. You don’t need to agree with the person, yet you can still appreciate her for her actions. 3. Appreciate life. Stop resisting things in your life and let them happen. Lao Tzu says ‘Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like’. I found satisfaction with the simple things in my life. The more I appreciated life and accepted everything that I was experiencing, the more I lived in the present moment and experienced joy. Take it all in. Take as much time as you need for this.

Lesson 12 – BONUS – Trust and Appreciation

1- Listen to the Bridging Podcast episode (10) with Gulshanoy Tolipova about empowerment, strength, confidence, and endurance.

2- Watch the Ted Talk of 2x Olympian Nicole Davis on Trust Yourself to be Good Enough

Lesson 13 – Habits towards Your Goals 1

Lesson 13 – YOU DO – Habits towards Your Goals 1

Objective: At the end of this lesson you will track your habits and evaluate them if they are blocking or helping you to achieve your goals.

Needs: pen and notebook or digital notebook Today we are going to look at our habits and see if they align with our goals. James Clear the author of bestseller Atomic Habits defines habits this way: “Habits are the small decisions you make and actions you perform every day.” He says that our lives today are essentially the sum of our habits. How in shape or out of shape we are is a result of our habits. How happy or unhappy you are is a result of your habits. How successful or unsuccessful you are is a result of your habits. Now it’s time to think about your own habits. Are they bringing you closer to the life you want, or are they pushing you away from it? 1-Listen to the Bridging Podcast episode (35) with Arie Boomsma about establishing habits. 2-  Make a list of habits you are having. Write behind each habit if it is helping you or blocking you to achieve your goals. Important to note is that a certain habit might be for someone helping whereas it might be for someone else blocking. This can be different for each individual and person.  Put the habits in categories as in daily habits, weekly habits, and monthly habits. Please note that it is important that you are honest with yourself. Example. Daily Habits –wake up -check my phone -go to the bathroom -check my phone -answer email -stretch for 10 minutes -check my phone -go for a run -make coffee -eat a croissant -take shower -start working -check my phone -so on.. Weekly Habits -write a blog post -do the laundry -take out the trash -water plants -clean the house Monthly Habits -review finances -weekend away -buy stocks -pay bills -going on a date night

Lesson 13 – BONUS – Habits towards Your Goals 1

1- Read more about establishing habits via James Clear

2- Watch (3.38 minutes) How to break habits (from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg)

Lesson 14 – Habits towards Your Goals 2

Lesson 14 – YOU DO – Habit towards Your Goals 2

Lesson 15 – Establish a Routine

Lesson 16 – Write a Letter to Your Future Self